Sanctimonia Binocs, Bhubaneswar, 8 October 2025
Hark, ye perpetually harried and politically beleaguered citizens of Sanctimonia! Our King is a man wrestling with two great demons: a sudden spike in public violence and the terrifying prospect of a by-election loss. The silver city of Cuttack, known for its centuries of bhai chara (brotherhood), has seen a clash between two groups—a kind of violence the city hasn’t endured in three decades. The King is genuinely worried, primarily because members of his own party were involved in the brawl, turning a municipal issue into a royal headache.
Justice on Holiday, Treason for Lunch
The kingdom’s state of law and order is best summed up by the situation in Berhampur, where an advocate was killed in the full glare of the public—a clear case of contract killing, perhaps the fallout of a past political deal. The perfect storm, however, was the absence of the District Head of Police (SP), who was conveniently away in Hyderabad for “some training.” The vacuum of authority led to instant commotion, proving that in Sanctimonia, a crisis never happens when a responsible officer is available.
Meanwhile, the true conspirators are having an expensive meal. The grapevine, ever reliable, confirms that the shadowy Brutus and the supposedly incognito Law Minister were spotted together in the Super King’s capital, happily consuming Chole Bhature. While the King fears a grand plot, the actual treason is being cooked up over a simple, oily street dish.
The Nuapada Obsession
Ignoring the breakdown of law in Cuttack and Berhampur, the King has fixed his entire focus on the upcoming Nuapada by-election. To secure victory for his party, he has announced a slew of desperate measures, going so far as to instruct everyone from Nuapada to bypass bureaucracy and come directly to his office—a clear signal that the doors of governance are only open to those who can deliver votes.
The King’s defense against all this chaos? Endless meetings, punctuated by a solitary, repetitive one-liner: “Conspirators are working together to tarnish the name of Odisha.” The accusation hangs in the air, a paranoid puff of smoke, and everyone knows exactly who he means. But is Brutus responsible, or is the King simply blaming the man who enjoys the same Chole Bhature as his Law Minister?
The Milk of Political Greed
In the Jester’s camp, Nuapada is the sole topic of discussion. The Jester, never leaving a stone unturned, is mobilizing every rebel and senior leader to secure a win, viewing the by-election as the ultimate referendum on the King’s failures.
But the most immediate suffering falls upon the common netizen. The King’s men, following his lead, are having meetings after endless meetings under the banner of the Super King’s favorite concept: Chai pe Charcha. This excessive political chatter has led to a literal shortage of milk in the capital. The netizen’s morning tea—the one solace they have left—is diluted because all the milk is being used to fuel the politicians’ symbolic discussions. They look to the sky, desperately waiting for a new guardian and protector, praying for anyone who will deliver fresh milk and a little less political hot air.
