Sanctimonia Binocs, Bhubaneswar, 30 September 2025
Hark, ye perpetually bewildered and politically volatile citizens of Sanctimonia! The Ashtami and Nabami celebrations are upon us, and the capital has been drowned—not in floodwaters, but in a deluge of celebratory posters. Every road crossing is a chaotic gallery of party loyalties: the King’s party, the Jester’s party, and, of course, the grand party of the yesteryear.
The King’s party posters are a particular source of public confusion. In some wards, two leaders jostle for space, highlighting the internal confusion. Then there is the unavoidable, brazen return of the leader who famously beat up the BMC employee—his face, now pacified, is plastered everywhere, suggesting he has successfully charmed both the King and the Super King back into his corner. His comeback is complete, proving that in Sanctimonia, a good brawl can be better than good policy.
The Law Minister’s Divine Scam
The Law Minister, true to his word, is currently incognito, busy with his Habhisialis duties and avoiding all queries. But before he vanished, he left a worrying administrative void. He is, however, still mentally involved in the Holy Triad queue. He is a worried man because he is out of barricades to manage the devotees. The grapevine confirms what every netizen already suspected: the lack of barricades is a deliberate precursor to a ticketed premium cost to bypass the queue. A queue to see God, designed only for the rich.1 It’s a divine scam that the netizens knew was coming.
A Royal Distraction and the Jester’s Art
Meanwhile, the King has found a magnificent distraction. He has publicly congratulated the Gilli Danda team for winning against a far, far away enemy team. But the glory is short-lived: the enemy manager has run away with the trophy. Now, the King is determined to personally retrieve it. The netizens, with mounting frustration, are left to ask: why is the King prioritizing a Gilli Danda trophy over repairing the roads, curbing crime, or controlling the soaring prices?
The Jester, sensing the chaos, is currently moving around the Super King’s capital, doing the exact opposite of governing. People have spotted him in the best art galleries, some whispering that he is getting into painting and self-discovery. Lo and behold, his loyal right-hand man is completely worried, fearing that the Jester’s spiritual awakening will lead to political irrelevance.
The Moonlight Conspiracy
But the real action is happening under the auspicious full moon. Brutus, ever the slow and meticulous conspirator, has finally located the special load stone required to sharpen his dagger—it is rumored to be lying within the Royal Treasury of the Holy Triad. This precious knowledge has led to a clandestine moonlighting meeting between the Law Minister, the Deputy CM, and the Urban Minister. On the full moon night, these three figures are surely not discussing their annual performance review; they are undoubtedly plotting the future of the kingdom, perhaps how to extract that load stone, or perhaps just where to hide the next budget deficit. The King’s factionalism has created the perfect opportunity for the ambitious to seize control, with the Jester, wherever he may be, having the final, knowing laugh.
