Satya, Bhubaneswar, 29 July 2024
Sanctimonia, the hallowed city where divine decrees and culinary conundrums collide, is awash in a sea of salty tears. The cause of this collective weeping? A devastating surge in the prices of onions and potatoes, two staples of the Sanctimonian diet that have become as precious as holy relics.
The king and his two deputies, renowned for their love of lavish feasts and starchy side dishes, are said to be in a state of utter disarray. Their royal chefs, accustomed to crafting culinary masterpieces from the humble spud, are now reduced to serving meager portions of mashed potatoes and onion soup, leaving the royal trio feeling both famished and forlorn.
Meanwhile, the city’s bureaucrats and ministers, once revered for their economic acumen, have become the laughingstock of the realm. Their promises of price controls and market stability have proven as empty as a beggar’s bowl, leaving the citizens to grapple with the skyrocketing cost of their beloved tubers. Rumor has it that the minister of agriculture has been spotted weeping into his mashed potatoes, while the finance minister has taken to hoarding sacks of onions under his bed.
In a desperate attempt to regain control of the narrative, the king has decreed a royal rebranding of all government projects and schemes. The once-ubiquitous “Biju babu” moniker, a tribute to a beloved former leader known for his love of potatoes, is to be replaced with swanky new names that evoke images of prosperity and abundance.
Adding to the confusion, the king has appointed the law minister as the sole spokesperson for the holy triad, a trio of revered deities who are said to be deeply concerned about the potato crisis. The law minister, a man known for his legalistic jargon and fondness for alliteration, has promised to “petition the potatoes, plead with the produce, and prosecute the profiteers.”
The citizens of Sanctimonia, ever resilient in the face of adversity, are trying to make light of the situation. Onion-themed jokes and potato puns are circulating on social media, while enterprising street vendors are hawking “tear-proof” onions and “holy spud” amulets. But beneath the laughter lies a growing sense of unease. How long can the kingdom survive on a diet of watery soup and empty promises? Only time will tell. But one thing is certain: in Sanctimonia, even a potato crisis can become a source of divine comedy.
