Sanctimonia Binocs, Bhubaneswar, 3 June 2025
Sanctimonia’s Spirited Shift: From Holy Triad to High Spirits, and a Law Minister’s Lament
Hark, ye thirsty citizens of Sanctimonia! Our king, having dutifully (and no doubt, spiritually) concluded his engagements in the hallowed land of the Holy Triad, has returned to our bustling capital. And what a return it has been! The city, once merely a charming tapestry of ancient architecture and modern chaos, has now been transformed into a veritable haven for those seeking a “high” and a “high five.”
For, as if by magic (or perhaps by a very strategic loosening of regulations), the entire city has seen a sudden sprout of “hole-in-the-wall” establishments, discreetly selling liquor with official licenses. These clandestine outlets, once whispered about in hushed tones, now openly beckon, promising a potent concoction of spirits and camaraderie. The king, ever the visionary when it comes to filling the royal coffers, has taken note.
In a move that has both delighted and bewildered his subjects, His Majesty has dispatched his most trusted ministers to the neighbouring states. Their mission? To meticulously study the art of selling these “concoctions with a high,” so that Sanctimonia’s netizens can concentrate (presumably on their drinks, not their worries), and the king can fill his treasury with the glorious gush of cash flow from this newfound vice.
But wait! Did not our esteemed Law Minister, upon taking administration, solemnly vow to ban liquor? Indeed, he did! Now, the poor man is reportedly sulking in a corner of the royal palace, his face a picture of moral anguish and political embarrassment. His grand pronouncements of temperance have dissolved faster than a sugar cube in a glass of… well, you get the idea. The irony, as always in Sanctimonia, is thicker than the molasses used in some of those potent brews.
Yet, amidst the Law Minister’s lament, a wave of jubilation has swept through the netizens. For the king, in a stroke of genius (or perhaps desperation), has made a truly groundbreaking announcement: Sanctimonia will now proudly brew its own Mohula drink, and, as if that weren’t enough, there will be liquor shacks gracing our pristine beaches! Imagine the scene: sun-drenched sands, the gentle lapping of waves, and the clinking of glasses filled with locally brewed spirits. It’s a vision of paradise, or at least a very lucrative one.
The local newspapers, ever opportunistic, are positively gleeful. They foresee a golden age of surrogate advertisements (subtly promoting the new liquid gold) and, even better, a glorious surge in crime stories. Drunken brawls, misplaced holy relics, and perhaps even a few instances of spontaneous spiritual enlightenment fueled by Mohula – it’s a journalist’s dream! Their pages, once filled with tedious reports of bureaucratic blunders, will now overflow with thrilling tales of vice and virtue.
Thus, a hearty “Cheers!” echoes through the streets of Sanctimonia. The king’s coffers will swell, the netizens will be happy (and perhaps a little tipsy), and the newspapers will have endless fodder for their columns. As for the Law Minister’s shattered promises? Well, in Sanctimonia, such things are often best washed down with a strong drink. God save the country, indeed. And perhaps, God save our livers.
