Sanctimonia Binocs, Bhubaneswar, 15 May 2025
A palpable gloom has descended upon the sun-drenched spires of Sanctimonia. Our usually… well, present king is now wrestling with a double-pronged predicament, a twin torrent of trouble threatening the very foundations of our holy fisc. The audacity of that replicated place of worship in the neighbouring lands was a bitter pill to swallow, a spiritual slight that ruffled royal feathers. But now, a far more tangible threat has emerged: the jingling of coins in foreign coffers, coins that rightfully should be echoing in our own royal treasury.
The news has arrived like a thunderclap on a cloudless day: a staggering two million tourists have flocked to the neighbouring kingdom, their footsteps undoubtedly treading towards that… other temple. Two million! Imagine the potential revenue, the offerings unoffered, the trinkets unbought! Our king, ever mindful of the kingdom’s financial well-being (which, not coincidentally, often aligns with his own), is reportedly pacing the royal chambers, muttering about missed opportunities and the fickle nature of earthly devotion.
Adding salt to this already gaping wound is the unsettling trend of our own citizens extending their stays in this neighbouring land. What siren song does this replica sing that keeps our people lingering? Are its queues shorter? Its rituals less demanding? Or have our own beloved Holy Triad, perhaps still a tad grumpy after their earlier toppling incident, inadvertently created a less-than-welcoming atmosphere?
The reports are particularly disheartening when it comes to glimpsing the Holy Triad themselves. Our own people, the very heart and soul of Sanctimonia’s spiritual essence, are finding it increasingly difficult to have a peaceful darshan, the throngs overwhelming the sacred spaces. Yet, across the border, whispers speak of easier access, less congestion, a more… relaxed spiritual experience. It’s a bitter irony, a holy headache of epic proportions. Our king, envisioning the dwindling streams of revenue and the exodus of his own loyal subjects, is undoubtedly feeling the pinch – both spiritually and fiscally.
The royal advisors are likely scurrying about, offering a plethora of (mostly useless) suggestions. Perhaps a catchy new slogan to lure tourists back? A crackdown on citizens extending their stays abroad (a move that would likely be about as popular as a tax on holy water)? Or maybe even a strongly worded letter to the neighbouring kingdom, politely (or perhaps not so politely) reminding them of Sanctimonia’s undisputed spiritual primacy?
The holy triad, ever the silent observers of our earthly woes, remain inscrutable. Do they frown upon this blatant imitation and the subsequent economic drain? Or do they, in their infinite wisdom, see a larger, more complex cosmic tapestry unfolding? We, the bewildered citizens of Sanctimonia, can only hope that their divine plan includes a swift return of tourist dollars and a renewed appreciation for the authentic spiritual heartland that is our own beloved, albeit currently financially and devotionally challenged, Sanctimonia. The king’s furrowed brow, however, suggests a distinct lack of divine clarity on the immediate horizon.
