Sanctimonia Binocs, Bhubaneswar, 21 September 2025
Hark, ye perpetually bewildered and mildly apathetic citizens of Sanctimonia! Our king, a man whose every action is a calculated tribute, has embarked on a morning jog. It was, of course, in memory of the Super King’s 75th birthday, a symbolic gesture meant to signify his enduring loyalty. But in a move that would make any sane person scratch their head, he decided to turn his morning run into a bizarre test of his own identity.
He kept stopping, his royal sweat dripping onto the dusty roads, and kept asking passersby, “Who am I?” and “What is my name?” The netizens, caught off guard, could only stare back blankly. No one could give an exact detail. They knew he was “the king,” a figure of pomp and circumstance, but the specific details of his name and history were as hazy as a Sanctimonian morning.
Frustrated, the king abandoned his run for Plan B: a ‘Chai pe Charcha’ session, a concept famously pioneered by the Super King. He sat down at a small tea stall, ready to connect with his subjects. But the only people who showed up were a group of bewildered farmers who were more concerned with the soaring prices of pumpkin and milk than with the king’s identity crisis. The conversation, it seems, was not as insightful as the king had hoped.
Rebellion in the Ranks and a Minister’s New Mission
Back at the jester’s camp, a different kind of chaos is unfolding. A lot of rebels, a new wave of Gen Z-inspired humorists, have started a movement. They believe the time has come for the jester to “hang up his boots” and pass the torch. Senior jesters are huddling together, trying to figure out what’s happening.
In the meantime, our Law Minister, a man who cannot seem to stay in his own lane, has found a new project. He is now talking and planning about a second bridge over the River Khatajodi. The netizens, with a collective sigh of exasperation, wonder why he, a law minister, is meddling in civil engineering.
To add to the confusion, the Super King’s education minister has released a statement saying that his idea of language implementation was misinterpreted. The netizens are now bewildered: should they follow the Odiya language as their own, or should they learn a foreign language to get ahead?
A Minister’s Priorities and a Kingdom’s Woes
The sports minister, it seems, has learned a new lesson. He is no longer wary of the indoor tracks at the Kalinga Stadium. He has hired a coach and an assistant to ensure he does not “goof up” again. But in a move that is both amusing and infuriating to the netizens, he makes sure to wear the “right shoes for every occasion.” The netizens are now worried about where he gets the money for all these shoes, as their own finances are so tight.
Today, a new crisis has befallen Sanctimonia. All commercial shops are closed due to a change in GST slabs. This has left the netizens in a state of confusion. One does not know whether the price of milk will finally go down. The entire kingdom is a collection of contradictions, with leaders who make promises they cannot keep, ministers who meddle in projects they do not understand, and citizens who are left to fend for themselves.
