Sanctimonia Binocs, Bhubaneswar, 10 October 2025
Hark, ye perpetually harried and politically beleaguered citizens of Sanctimonia! Our King, facing the perennial embarrassment of flooded roads, has achieved a new level of administrative absurdity. He has gone a step beyond simply ignoring local talent—he has called in a technical institute from a faraway kingdom to advise on our drainage system. This, despite the fact that Sanctimonia boasts its own technical institutes, staffed by our own people. It seems the King believes that the sheer expense and foreign accent will somehow magically make the water disappear, regardless of the quality of the advice.
The Advocate’s Echo and the Exam Farce
The brutal killing of the advocate in Berhampur is quickly spiraling into a classic Sanctimonia scandal, reminiscent of the murkiness that surrounded the tragic deaths of Sushant Singh Rajput and Zubeen Garg in other kingdoms. The whispers are now full-throated shouts: this is an insider job, tied directly to narcotics and IMFL smuggling, with a reach so high it touches the most powerful political circles.
This high-level conspiracy finds its mirror in the farce of the SI exam corruption. The main culprit arrested in the case is enjoying a red-carpet treatment at the police station—sipping royal tea and giving autographs, one presumes—and has still not been sent to judicial custody. This brazen protection leaves no doubt that the police are compromised. Adding to the absurdity, station in-charges, likely due to understaffing, are actually asking the unemployed youth of the kingdom to pose as police officers to man the checkpoints. The confused netizens are left wondering if the government is finally solving unemployment by turning its jobless into fake cops.
The Law Minister’s Treachery: Et Tu Brute?
The festive season has taken a nasty turn. Because all the real police officers are tied up chasing the imaginary leads in the advocate’s death (a case designed to distract them), the orchestra parties are celebrating by performing vulgar dances late into the night. This public indecency is the perfect side-effect of the conspiracy orchestrated by the absent Law Minister and Brutus. The citizens can only look at the situation and sigh, Et tu Brute, as the very officials sworn to protect them are busy creating chaos.
The Old Lion’s Last Roar
Suddenly waking from his long slumber, the last remaining Union Minister from the kingdom has stirred. He is making noise by asking the Super King’s President to establish a Kalinga Regiment in the Super King’s Kingdom. Is this a patriotic surge, or a calculated political maneuver? The netizens know the truth: he is merely waving a white flag, sending a desperate message that he, too, wishes to be seen as a Kingmaker.
And where is our wise Jester in all this? He is nowhere to be found, except for occasional sightings wandering aimlessly around the capital of the Super King. He has clearly determined that the farce at home is too small for his intellect and has moved on to study the larger, more sophisticated madness unfolding in the Super Kingdom.
The ultimate reality, however, remains local and painful: vegetables and milk prices continue to soar high, leaving the confused netizens with nothing left to do but pray to the heavens for a new guardian and protector.
