Sanctimonia Binocs, Bhubaneswar, 5 October 2025
Hark, ye perpetually gridlocked and financially anxious citizens of Sanctimonia! The entire political stage has shifted to the Super King’s capital, where our King and the Kingmaker are reportedly presenting their “report card.” This pilgrimage, following the chaotic festivities, suggests an urgent need for validation. Adding a truly bizarre layer to this high-stakes meeting, the grapevine reports that Brutus, the ambitious backstabber, was spotted sharing a plate of Chole Bhature with our very own Law Minister. The Law Minister, supposedly vanished for his pious Habhisialis duties, is instead fueling treasonous plots over deep-fried bread—a delicious metaphor for the greasy deals being cooked up in the kingdom’s shadows.
From Sacred Silence to Street Sludge
The capital’s festivities were a study in contradiction. While the King proudly enforced a low-key celebration with DJ bans (fearing too much spontaneous joy), the pomp and show were merely replaced by a different kind of pollution: mountains of debris and sludge from unregulated street food stalls. The noise was gone, but the grime remained, symbolizing the kingdom’s preference for surface control over actual cleanliness.
The Flood of Fictitious Funds
The King has returned from this political summit suddenly imbued with an impossible financial confidence, announcing a torrent of new, expensive programs. The netizens, with good reason, are worried sick about the sudden surge in funds. First, there is the promise of a state-of-the-art disaster center. Then, the Education Minister promises a flurry of central schools (schools his own wife is trying to secure a post in via questionable exams). Not forgetting piety, the Law Minister is deep into planning the best Kartik month for the Habhisialis. And finally, they are now sketching out lavish Bali Jatara incentives.
The question haunting every honest tax-payer is: Where is this deluge of gold coming from? The answer, as always, lies in sacrifice—the sacrifice of the common man, or worse, the state’s natural soul.
The Law Minister’s Convenient Crusades
In a display of breathtaking political cynicism, the very Law Minister who is supposed to be incognito and who turned a blind eye to the rising abetment-to-suicide cases, suddenly instigated the King to crack down on the widespread corruption in the education and examination board. This perfectly timed attack is clearly meant to deflect attention from his own missing treasury jewels and failed law and order.
But who suffers in this political theater? The examinees who studied hard and played fair. Their future is now paralyzed, hanging in limbo while the politicians use the corruption scandal as a political weapon. Their hard work is now collateral damage in the minister’s scheme.
The True Cost of Steel
The tragic answer to the kingdom’s newfound wealth lies in the industrial sphere. The King has, predictably, entered into agreements with major steel corporations for massive expansion projects. The price? It is not merely revenue; the King must bow down to their demands, which include handing over prime mine areas, offering land in exchange for a paltry tax break, or perhaps the most insidious demand of all: “some cut” of the illicit profits to ensure the projects proceed smoothly.
Sanctimonia is thus caught in a perpetual loop: the leaders plot over street food and sell the kingdom’s future to fund temporary festive incentives, while the honest, hardworking student finds his road to progress blocked by a cynical political maneuver.
