Satya, Bhubaneswar, 3 June 2024
The King is confused! Long live the King! Yet, in the hallowed halls of Sanctimonia’s castle, King Quandary is pacing like a caged tiger, his crown askew, his brow furrowed. It seems he’s been pondering the three most important questions in life, courtesy of a certain wise hermit.
“What is the right time to begin everything?” he mutters, staring outside the window at the bustling town square below. “Should I start my day with royal porridge or a decree to ban pointy shoes?”
His advisor, Sir Wafflebottom, clears his throat nervously. “Perhaps, Your Majesty, you could start by addressing the sewage system. The stench is rather… distracting.”
King Quandary waves him off. “Nonsense! That can wait. Next question: Who are the right people to listen to, and whom to avoid?” He eyes Sir Wafflebottom suspiciously. “Are you the right person to listen to, Wafflebottom? Or are you just here for the free croissants?”
Sir Wafflebottom stammers, clutching his croissant a little tighter. “I… uh… Your Majesty, I assure you, my advice is always given with your best interests at heart… and a touch of butter.”
The King sighs dramatically. “Very well. Final question: What is the most important thing to do?” He pauses, a look of enlightenment dawning on his face. “I know! I shall decree that all citizens of Sanctimonia must wear hats adorned with miniature squirrels! It shall be a symbol of our kingdom’s quirky charm.”
Sir Wafflebottom buries his face in his hands. “Perhaps, Your Majesty, we could start with something a bit more… practical. Like, say, fixing the crumbling bridge or addressing the rampant food shortages?”
The King dismisses him with a regal wave. “Details, details! A true leader focuses on the big picture, on leaving a legacy. And what better legacy than a kingdom full of squirrel-hatted citizens?”
Meanwhile, in the town square below, the citizens of Sanctimonia grumble about their empty stomachs, broken shoes, and the ever-present smell of sewage. They’ve yet to see any action from their wise and enlightened King, who seems more interested in squirrel hats than solving their problems.
Will King Quandary ever find the answers to his three questions? Will the citizens of Sanctimonia ever see their King take action? Or will the kingdom continue to flounder in a sea of royal confusion and impractical decrees?
Tune in next time for another thrilling instalment of “King Quandary’s Conundrum,” where the only thing more baffling than the King’s questions are his answers. And remember, folks, in Sanctimonia, the only thing more important than doing good is wearing a ridiculous hat.
