Sanctimonia Binocs, Bhubaneswar, 20 April 2025
Hark! Our monarch has returned from the dazzling super capital, his pronouncements still echoing with that Kingsman-esque authority, though perhaps tinged with a touch of road-weariness. And now, like diligent celestial messengers, the Kingsman deputies have descended upon our holy land, their mission: to ensure the royal plans sprout and flourish.
However, their arrival was not without a touch of Sanctimonian slapstick. The royal flying chariot, it seems, encountered a rather inconvenient “technical difficulty” with the landing strip in the land of the boisterous netizens – sabotage, some are whispering with dramatic flair. Undeterred, these esteemed deputies braved the earthly realm, arriving by road, a journey no doubt filled with enlightening encounters with our uniquely spirited local traffic.
Upon their arrival, a pilgrimage to the holy triad was deemed essential, an event splashed across all available media outlets. The deputies, accompanied by their spouses, were a vision in verdant attire, a colour choice that has sparked much debate amongst the fashion-conscious citizens. Was it a gesture of solidarity with our parched land, a subtle nod to a powerful neighbouring kingdom known for its emerald landscapes, or simply a wardrobe malfunction? The holy triad, ever serene (or perhaps still slightly damp from the aforementioned splashing), offered their blessings, though one suspects their minds were still preoccupied with the looming water crisis.
Our esteemed law minister, ever the visionary, has now shifted his focus to the shimmering mirage of a “hi-tech park” for the citizens in the twin city. The concept, while undoubtedly modern and impressive-sounding, has left the average Sanctimonian scratching their heads. What, pray tell, is this “IT” of which he speaks? And what manner of “tariff” might we expect from the fabled kingdom of the white skin, a land as mythical to most as a perpetually full well in the summer?
But hold! A stirring in the slumbering ranks! The one who was in hibernation, the leader of yesteryear, has stirred! His loyal followers, their voices a collective clarion call, have seemingly issued a mandate, rousing him from his political slumber. “The king is dead, long live the king!” they cry, their voices filled with a renewed hope that borders on desperation.
His first act upon awakening? A quest to unravel the true administrative hierarchy. Who holds the reins? Is it the former governor, now residing in another state, his influence perhaps lingering like the scent of sandalwood? Or is it the hero of yesteryear, the one who soared through the skies in his flying chariot, saving us from some long-forgotten invasion? The irony is thick enough to spread on a holy wafer – the king, newly awakened, must now discern who exactly is running the kingdom he has ostensibly returned to lead.
Ah, Sanctimonia! A land where flying chariots malfunction, saviours nap, and the concept of “IT” remains as elusive as a cool breeze in the summer heat. The king has awakened, but the dream of coherent governance? That, dear citizens, remains a tale yet to be told. Let us watch, with a mixture of trepidation and amusement, as this new chapter unfolds, hoping that this time, the awakening is not just a prelude to another long, bewildering nap.
