The Nirvik Bureau, Bhubaneswar, 30 March 2026
How to Build a State Just Enough to Leave It
Nitish Kumar did what no one expected: he proved that Bihar could have roads, schools, and functional law and order – just not enough jobs for Biharis to actually stay there. So the barbers, dosa-walas, and omelette-cart philosophers migrated to other states, where they now confidently predict: “Nitish phir se aayega, jungle raj nahi chahiye,” while sending money orders back to the very Bihar he “fixed.” It was a masterstroke in political engineering: create a Bihar that is forever slightly better than its worst memory, and forever slightly worse than a livable future.
Sushasan Babu, MBA (Major in Bakht Management)
Born in Bakhtiarpur – literally “place of good fortune” – Nitish treated luck like a permanent coalition partner. He toppled Jungle Raj, prosecuted gangsters, boosted growth, put girls on bicycles, and then realised governance has one big flaw: once people get used to it, they start expecting more. So he innovated: governance became a subscription plan – basic development free, long-term transformation unavailable in your region.
Advanced Diploma in Political Yoga
Nitish’s true talent flowered not in policy, but in posture. He bent from JP to Lohia to Vajpayee to Modi to Lalu to Tejashwi to INDIA to Modi again, inventing a new asana: Kursi-asana, posture in which the spine disappears but the chair does not. Ideology, for him, was like roaming data – you use whichever network is strongest, then complain about “principles” in the press conference.
Paltu Ram and the 32 Teeth of Destiny
As allies discovered, Nitish didn’t just have a political brain; he allegedly had “32 teeth in his stomach,” a poetic way of saying he could chew through any alliance without moving his lips. Lalu called him Paltu Ram, social media upgraded him to “Paltiputra,” and Bihar voters simply added a new season to the calendar: summer, monsoon, winter, and U-turn. Each flip came with a sermon on morality, like a man delivering a TED Talk on fidelity while updating his Shaadi.com profile.
When the Ladder Pulls You
After years of hopping between Patna and Delhi like a delayed train, Nitish finally achieved the one destination no paltu wants: a one-way, polite promotion to the Rajya Sabha. The man who once dreamt of being Prime Minister now promises to “serve Bihar from Delhi,” proving that, in Indian politics, geography is also a form of satire. The BJP gets Bihar, Nitish gets a seat in the Upper House, and the migrants get…another election to discuss while frying omelettes in someone else’s city.
Sushasan Babu vs Paltu Ram – Bihar’s Split-Screen Memory
Bihar will remember one Nitish who ended Jungle Raj and gave girls bicycles, and another Nitish who treated alliances like disposable plates at a political langar. One is mathematical – growth rates, crime data, school enrolment; the other is meteorological – barometer of who is winning in Delhi this week.
In the end, the great paltu of Indian politics did what all seasoned acrobats do: flipped so often that he finally landed outside the ring, still waving, while the show went on without him.
